Journey to Improvisational Bead Embroidery

On the way!

All the dreaming, the visioning, and focus paid off. We created a great Improvisational Bead Embroidery workshop on San Juan Island. Well, Robin Atkins created it, taught it, and constantly inspired us. I just dreamed it into being in that particular location. I'm so glad I did.

I flew into Washington state a few days before the workshop and spent time with my family. That was the main thrust of my visit at this time. I live far away in Paradise and I miss them. I didn't take very many pictures when we were together.

 

My sweet mama - Uta Mae in her kitchen

My mama offered to donate and help round up all the snacks, containers, paper products, pens, and other small things so that I wouldn't have to shop for them. Thanks, Mama! That was so great, we got to enjoy each other's company instead of dashing about tracking down crackers. She has always made the best snacks for parties and made it look so easy.

I brought some things from Hawaii for the gift bags. In Hawaii they usually have nuts, an individually wrapped cookie, and small gifts like sunscreen or a beach frisbee. These also included a rainbow string and String Figure Bracelet of Blessings from Lois and Earl Stokes and a small bag of assorted sequins and charms I wanted to share. I have about 33,000 sequins - always willing to share some of them! I had so much fun putting the bags together, making little grass skirts on each one.

My family days went by way too fast. I got out to Mark and Nicolette's - near Oso, in the foothills of the mountains. It was so beautiful out there - spring bulbs in bloom, new leaves on the trees, dogs joyfully prancing about. Nicolette baked one of her famous blueberry coffee cakes and then fed us a wonderful pasta lunch. My heart expands when I think about them and their life together on that farm.

So let's go already!

Good thing sister Lola was driving us up to Anacortes and over on the ferry. I had just a few things to bring. I told her, "There's 80 things on my bed that are ready to go in the car. No, wait, there's 80,000." I can't resist yanking her chain. She wasn't sure whether to believe me. I think she was relieved that there were only 8 things.

Next post - the workshop!

Tatanui - A Manifestation Dolly

Tatanui's inception - beadbacking cut to shape and peyote petals ready to attach.
Plenty of my favorite colors and 24K beads and pearls to play with.

I've written here and here about the Improvisational Bead Embroidery workshop with Robin Atkins that I'm organizing for March. It's filling up and there are only a few spaces left, which is really exciting. I've been focused on attracting students who will learn and enjoy and have as much fun as I'm going to.

At the end of the first night - her tatas look as big
as her head and she gets her name.

 As often happens, I made an intention and start working on it, energized it fully in the beginning, and began to see results. Then life and grief intervened, and my energy and attention took a dip for a while. I couldn't feel enthusiastic about much of anything except crawling into a hole and pulling the edges in after me. I wove prayer nets on the needle, and tried to focus on beauty.

Tatanui's 3rd day - she sits next to a replica "Doll of the Vespi," Russian fertility doll.
She has a 24K ruffle and heavy 24K border.

 So, the question is: How do we persist and keep the vision and intention energized when entropy and daily life start to wear it down? Well, how do we persist in anything? Step by step, meal by meal, 10 minutes at a time on a work project if that's all we can manage, thought by thought, bead by bead.

I persist by making art that consciously symbolizes and energizes my intentions. As I stitch each bead, I say a prayer. I see my intention coming to pass and I feel the emotions that I would feel in that moment. I see it, I savor it, and I save it in memory.

Bodice has been filled in with vintage sequins and pearls,
more gold. Peyote stitch sleeves begun.

I don't have hours every day to do this, so she developed over a period of 10 days. There were a couple of nights I didn't do much except look at her and focus. I created a graphic of the checks I wanted to receive, and kept her on it, near my computer. I also did a number of practical marketing steps, like follow up on email leads, post to Facebook, follow up with a venue. This is important - simply thinking and dreaming does not produce a comfortable, well-organized workshop with great food. And how would any other sort of workshop attract students?

Up in Kokee - the head enlarged and a lovely face by Dottie Hoeschen
added and temporarily bound with string until bezel is complete.

 I like to take my dolls out into nature, to strengthen them. Doc Matt and I went up to the mountains on our Sunday date. He played guitar and I beaded happily and we went home refreshed and energized.

 Tata's front is done. Her tatas no longer look as nui as they did in proportion to the rest of her body. It's the giant head, which could symbolize the power of the imagination. The hot pink vintage sequins have consistently morphed into ovals, possibly from being under a warm lamp, or leaning up against a warm battery back-up. So do the components of our intentions change and modify as we go along.

I can hear you thinking: "Is EVERYTHING symbolic to this woman?" And the short answer is... (wait for it) ... YES. Everything is symbolic when you operate on a symbolic level.

The next night, the 8th night, I finished the back. I kept thinking it needed a tassel or something, but in the end I liked the simplicity and the power of the words. Words are strong, they have power. The words we use to describe our emotions and situations influence our reactions and eventual outcomes. This is easy to demonstrate: Say to yourself "I feel like a huge pile of crap." See how you feel. Say to yourself "I feel lucky! I always have been lucky and I always will be. I get what I want. I win!" See how you feel. Which is more effective?

Tatanui is done! Sitting on her checks and energizing my intentions.

Every day after I played with Tatanui and focused on my intention, I got some return, either new registrants, or checks in the mail. Focused intention brings results! The work doesn't stop when the doll is made - it doesn't stop until you reach your goal.

We are very near that goal - only 4 spots left. This doll was created using 5 basic stitches, all of which you can learn in this workshop. Now is your moment of power to sign up!

Grief

I just googled "January is the cruelest month." Turns out to be a misquote of "April is the cruelest month," from T.S. Eliot's Waste Land, but Google had 283,000 references, so some other people have thought it was January.

It felt cruel. Dr. Sherman Merle, the father of one of my dearest friends, passed away and was buried with military attention. His granddaughter Sarah, a rabbinical student from New York, presided over the service and it was beautiful and comforting. The loud chirping and song of birds interrupted the prayers and testimonials, which was appropriate since his nickname and handle were "blackbird".  I'd never attended a full-on graveside funeral and hope to never do so again. It was weird and hard, even though his passing was a blessing on many levels. He was 90.

The day of the funeral, one of my best friends of 35 years, John Foppes, AKA Foopes, was in the hospital and hung there in a coma for several days, 1 foot in each world, before waking up and then lapsing into complete liver failure and passing away. He was 60 and one of the most loving people I've ever known.

Foopes and his son Nathan

Another close friend is divorcing her husband and experiencing that loss. The end of a marriage is often the end of a way of life in a beautiful place and that is a loss in itself. On some level, I've been grieving that loss, too - of my own first marriage and our family, friends, and dreams together in that magical place in the woods.

Grief is insidious sometimes. There are the hard constantly tearful days, weeping and more weeping, ending up at night unable to sleep because your head is pounding and your heart hurts. Those gradually pass, and then come the days when you think you're more or less done grieving for now and a song or a poem or even a happy memory suddenly starts the tears afresh. Or you have to tell someone, and that makes it more immediate again. Sometimes I feel disloyal for being alive, enjoying myself, laughing. This is all normal. Anything we feel or experience is normal.

A prayer net for Foopes - this is what I do when I don't know what to do. I bead and I pray. I pray and I bead.

New losses bring up old losses to be reviewed and healed, if necessary. Some people believe that grief has a basis in anger at the person we've lost. I don't feel angry now, but sometimes new loss brings up old anger, and that is illuminating.

Foopes and Rhiannon, back in the day

 All these things made it difficult to work, dream, plan. A couple of times I thought I'd give up the dream. "OK, it's not working, it's not going to, why waste energy on it, waaaaaa, etc etc". REALLY? Doc Matt put it clearly: "Your friend is sad because she's going through some big changes, and you are depressed because your best friend died. It has nothing to do with this dream. Give it a chance, don't give up."

After a while, I get bored with the tears, the focus on what I've lost, it's limiting and it's tiresome and it makes me sick. It's not good for my eyes to cry this much. I have to turn to appreciating all the things I HAVE, because grace is boundless and they are many. The world doesn't stop being a beautiful place just because we've been focused inward. It is still there, waiting to help us heal.

I decided to make a doll that would focus my thoughts and energy on what I wanted to manifest - a fabulous improvisational bead embroidery workshop with the right number of participants.

Voila! Tatanui.....

Spring into 2013 with an Island Bead Embroidery Getaway

A pocket crown for Queen Emmalani, October, 2012

2013 is starting off with a bang!

Well, it usually does, in our neighborhood above Kapaa, on Kaua'i. The neighbors start setting off fireworks around dark, usually about 6 p.m. and go on until midnight. Some of them were really big booms. I used to like those M-80's in ceramic cases, and once had a couple of M-240's, which are the equivalent of a quarter stick of dynamite. We'd buy them on the Indian Reservation in Washington State. An M-240 will blow a 6-feet diameter crater in the lawn. Just saying. You don't want to put one in a mailbox.

Nowadays, I don't like firecrackers as much because they really scare the dogs. They were quite anxious and Lola was crying. They huddled together in the inside kennel. They were still spooked the next day.

It is deafening at midnight, and very quiet five minutes later. I was asleep and woke up at midnight and came out and kissed Doc Matt on the lips and wished him a Happy New Year. Five minutes later I was sound asleep again.

I was dreaming about this Improvisational Bead Embroidery workshop with Robin Atkins. March 29-April 1, 2013 - San Juan Island, Washington State.

Improvisational Bead Embroidery by Robin Atkins

 I am so excited about it that I can barely sleep, and when I do, I dream about different designs I want to work on during the workshop.

So how did it come about? A very generous client gave me a large bonus which I used to order airline tickets. In March I will fly to Washington and see my family, which is exciting enough, all by itself. I made the comment on Facebook that it would be even cooler if I met up with Robin Atkins, and one of my friends said "Why not ask her?"

So I did. Dream a dream. Make it real. Take a step. Feel the feel. Get excited. Talk about it. Expect the best!

Before you know it, you've got a dream workshop planned, a venue on one of the most beautiful islands in the world, the best caterer on San Juan Island, and a special room rate for participants at Earthbox Motel & Spa.

To me "Island Bead Getaway" = "Hook up with your dream teacher. Make the group small. Time to bead and bead and then bead some more. Eat something yummy. Bead some more. Don't have to cook or clean or manage anyone. No cell phones or clients. Can actually walk from bedroom to workshop room in under 2 minutes. Bead some more. Consider going out into natural beauty or down to the gorgeous indoor pool for a swim. Bead some more."

Sound good? Come bead with us! We are going to have SO MUCH FUN!

And it's a flat-out bargain at $275 for 2-1/2 full-on days (and evenings) with Robin Atkins. A dream come true! I keep saying that, but it is!

If you have not already gotten her latest book, go straight to Amazon and order it. It is so complete, has hundreds of excellent photos, and an index, which is a rarity among art or craft books.


Email me at pegnard (at) hawaiiantel.net for more details, like my Peggy in Paradise Facebook page and comment there, or join our event on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/events/175866232537787/.

Blocks to Manifestation: Shooting Yourself in the Foot

E Aloha Pau Ole - Wedding Blessings

Having some hidden reservations about your own success may keep you from manifesting your desires. How does that show up in your practical life?

Sometimes it's by not doing small things that would help you reach your goals. Like letting people know that you want to manifest a commission and then not letting them know how to contact you, for instance.

I can be reached by email: pegnard7777 (at) yahoo.net.

Intentional Symbolic Dolls

I was very excited to receive a commission to make an intentional doll last week. It seemed to just come out of the blue... and yet this is something I truly love to do, and would like to do more.

Intentional dolls are very personal, and the details of the person and their intention are always kept confidential, but I can share the picture and the prayer that went with it. Every doll is different. This was a very zippy and sunny doll ~ had the energy of a Mexican Jumping Bean! And so much fun to make. I probably didn't charge enough for the length of time it took.

That's always a question for me... I do healing work by donation only. This is my choice, and it doesn't reflect a judgment on those healers who do charge a set price for their work. I accept the donation gladly and give at least 10% of it away to someone in need.

 

So is an intentional doll healing work? Well, yes. And no. Depends on what your intention is. I charge for these commissioned dolls, but I have also made many of them for free, for healing purposes. I put a lot of my own energy and intention into these dolls, and I am open to receiving energy (compensation) in exchange.

My own intention is to do more of them, and be well-enough compensated that I can do it at least half-time. That is my yellow-brick path with heart, and this is my own doll in process.

She still has strings covering her face! That's not particularly symbolic - they hold the cabochon on while the bezel is beaded, and I don't take them off until the doll is completely done. The original body pattern I modified here was from Spirit Dolls by Robin Atkins, and I probably got that tip about tying the face down from her, too. I've learned so much from her, I can usually attribute any cool thing I know how to do to her. I've made dolls shaped like this since I was a small kid, but this particular shape was from that pattern.

As I'm making this doll, I am holding the firm intention that I will get more commissions and truly grow and leaf out in my ability to focus, create, and manifest for myself and others.

I love the other work I do - social media management and marketing - and will continue to do that half-time. I'm seeing myself sewing on a doll for some happy client every day and joining my loving intentional energy with theirs. My entire life will be 24K. And I will be able to play with 24K Delicas every day! Now that is my ideal life. Social media mornings and intentional afternoons.

IMUA!

Bless Our Happy Big Island Home

Pocket Tiaras

Flower Basket Princess of God Pocket Tiara, photo by Emily Miller

A dear friend was recently diagnosed with a brain lesion. My first reaction was to make a healing prayer star for her, each bead a prayer. I felt sad for a couple of months after my friend Brenda passed away and I couldn't get up much creative juice. Every evening I sat and made a simple prayer star, praying that I'd get my energy back. About 25 stars later, I did. Prayer works.

I also got samples of how all my new beads work up, which is useful.

I gave her the star. I wanted to remind my friend that she is a Princess of God, a concept that she brought home from a women's religious retreat a few years ago. I wanted to make her such a glorious tiara that she would never forget that she is a true Princess of God. However, she was having compression headaches, and a tiara that fit around her head was obviously not the thing. And so...

The Pocket Tiara was born, and went with her to visit a neurosurgeon in Honolulu. It beeped the machine at the airport! The first one was small and pretty simple, but absolutely packed with prayers.

The very good news is that she is ever so much better, no headaches, on a good health regimen.

The flower basket was the second one I made, and may still be my favorite. All of these tiaras are bead embroidered onto Nicole's BeadBacking, which is great stuff. Really easy to sew through, softens up with beading but doesn't go limp. I can't rave about it enough. Check it out at Nicole's BeadBacking.

Matt decided that he would rather be a Duke of God, instead of a Prince. Voila! He will put it on the bridge of his guitar.

Duke of God Pocket Crown, photo by Emily Miller

 

 

 

Fiddling with Dolls While Norway Burns

Lolana of Nanakuli

 A great disaster happened in Norway yesterday - a young man killed many innocent people, most of them teenagers who had been attending an island retreat just a few minutes by car from where one of my friends lives. The killing is believed to have been politically motivated.

When I first heard the news (on Facebook) I felt horror, shock, dismay, helpless. Then I remembered that we are NEVER helpless in the face of a disaster. We can always send healing energy to help those in need, and strengthen the helpers on the ground.

Serena

Serge Kahili King has written about this on http://huna.org/html/911.html.

"Each time you become aware again of what happened and/or what's being done about it, here are some specific suggestions of what to do:
1. Pray to a higher power to help the helpers (which includes healers and peacemakers).
2. Imagine the helpers being surrounded by healing light and/or being assisted by angels or other spirit helpers.
3. If you know how, do an inner symbolic journey to help the helpers.
4. To the best of your ability, take the time to bring your own spirit to a state of peace by meditating on the beauty and goodness in the world, and practice positive expectation no matter what happens that the work of the helpers will be successful, in this world or another. This may be the most difficult thing of all to do ... and the most beneficial." (bolding mine)

Does suspending our own joy in life help others in any way? No, I don't believe so. Does our joy and happiness increase the "happiness quotient" of the world? I think it does. If we can truly achieve #4 above, then we are free to go about our daily business with joy. My spirit comes to peace most readily when I play with dolls or garden, so that's what I've been doing.

Bless Our Happy Big Island Home

Linda's Make-Over

Yesterday I went on a "play date" over to another doll-maker's house. I haven't really hooked up with other doll-makers that much in person, but I'd like to. We didn't play dolls as it turned out. I helped her understand her new Mac computer a little better and we got to know each other better, too.

I've been so busy that it was stressful to even figure out what to take to play with. Doll-related? Too complicated. Beading? Always an option, but I didn't think Helen was too interested in beading. I finally picked up Linda, my tried and true friend since I was 5 years old, a cleaning toothbrush, a big book of doll clothes patterns, and my paint pens and sketchbook, just in case.

And then I hauled it all back home and put it away. Except Linda, who got a thorough bath and a bob.

Linda ready for her bath

I got Linda when I was 5 years old. We were visiting relatives in Texas, a world away from the little town in eastern Washington where I grew up. What a beautiful doll she was! Long BLONDE hair, which I cut off almost immediately. Oh my goodness, was my mom ever mad! She told me that now Linda would be bald for the rest of her life, and it was my fault. I'm amazed I wasn't scarred for life, but in fact, I wasn't even that upset. It was worth it, I loved cutting hair.

She was bald for 5 years.The Christmas I was 10, my mom and grandma gave her an entire make-over, including a waist-length brown wig and a new wardrobe. They did this without my knowing a thing in advance, which is pretty incredible. Unfortunately, Linda went through the same fire we did, about 5 years ago.

Waist-length dreadlocks and dirty dirty shoes

Linda's truly bad hair day

She got smoked and superheated and her eyes clouded over. I did give her a washing, but she certainly needed another. Her hair was really nasty, all gummed together.

53 years old, cataracts forming

 Her eyes still open and close, but she's lost eyelashes on her left eye, probably because of stress                 

I took her entirely apart. Her head is stuffed with cotton batting. I did not take it out, I was afraid of disturbing her eye mechanism. I found a salad dressing cap that exactly fit the opening, and then put her head on the bottle out of the way while I washed her limbs. I read on a doll hospital website that Formula 409 works well to clean up old vinyl dolls. It sure does! It strips the gunge right off and doesn't take the paint off.

First they took my legs off and they threw them over there...

Then they pulled my head off and stuck it on a salad dressing bottle

There was no combing out those long dreads, no matter how carefully I went at it with the cat flea comb. She simply had to have a hair cut. Even short, it took almost 2 hours to comb out and trim her hair. And then there was the matter of that bald spot...

Linda's new bob

So happy to be clean

These are her original shoes

Even her eyes came clearer after being swabbed gently with 409.

No longer just a dirty doll

Do all my posts have an underlying Huna moral? Well, maybe so, because Huna is the spiritual philosophy that underlies my daily life. I try to live an intentional life. What does that mean? It means doing things with an intention in mind, holding that intention firmly during whatever it is I'm doing, and believing the energy of that intention will manifest in my life.

As I carefully cleaned her, I held the healing intention of graceful rebirth and positive change for myself and all who need this energy. Linda is a happy dolly today!